I asked God for death: Honey Singh opens up on bipolar disorder struggle
Rapper-singer Honey Singh recalled asking God for death in 2019 during his battle with bipolar disorder. He said that night, along with treatment and reflection, changed his life and gave him a reason to live.
At one point, Honey Singh was everywhere – dominating music charts, delivering back-to-back Bollywood hits, touring with superstars and living through the kind of fame most artists only dream of. But behind the blinding success of 2014 was a spiral that would soon pull him away from the spotlight entirely. Years later, the singer has now opened up about the night in 2019 when, amid his battle with bipolar disorder and addiction, he says he broke down and asked God for death.
Honey Singh on his battle with bipolar disorder
Speaking on the ABTalks podcast recently, Singh revealed that amid his battle with bipolar disorder, addiction and isolation, he had reached a point where he pleaded to God for death. The singer said he had been an atheist for years, but that moment eventually became the turning point that gave him “a purpose to live”.
During the peak of his career in 2014, Singh had released his album Desi Kalakaar, judged the reality show India's Raw Star, toured with Shah Rukh Khan and acted in the Punjabi film Tu Mera 22 Main Tera 22.
Looking back at that phase, Singh said, “I was Yo Yo Honey Singh, the biggest superstar of India at that time. But then I got symptoms of bipolar disorder.”
The singer revealed that nearly a decade ago, he completely isolated himself from the world. He said he locked himself in a room, stopped speaking to people and cut himself off from television, radio, the internet and the media. “I was not even speaking,” he said.
Singh also spoke candidly about his struggle with substance abuse, admitting that he had been addicted to drugs for two years without fully realising how deeply it had affected him. “I didn’t know it was taking me over. It was controlling me,” he said.
Describing bipolar disorder as something impossible to fully explain in words, Singh said the illness brought intense fear, suspicion and anxiety. He added that during the period, he dismissed spirituality despite his family encouraging him to turn towards faith.
Recalling that time, Singh said his mother would often play prayers at home in the hope that he would heal, but he resisted it. “I used to think I was the one who made Yo Yo Honey Singh. I was the one who did everything,” he said.
Honey Singh on asking God for death
The singer said the turning point came one night in 2019.
According to Singh, he apologised to God for not believing earlier and said, “Now, whoever you are, however you look, I’m going to start respecting you because I want something from you.” He revealed that what he wanted at that moment was death because he felt completely exhausted by his mental state.
“I was done with myself. That night, I asked for death,” Singh said, before adding, “I didn’t get death. I got the purpose to live.”
Singh shared that he only fully understood the significance of that night years later. He credited a change in medication and a new doctor for helping him recover gradually, calling the doctor “an angel” in his life. He also said revisiting both painful and positive memories during treatment helped him process what he had gone through.
“When I became a believer, my life changed,” Singh said, adding that everything he does now feels like a second chance.
The singer clarified that he still lives with bipolar disorder, but said he has found stability through treatment, reflection and faith. “I’m still a patient of bipolar disorder. But God has been kind. I’m travelling the world, doing shows again, and making music. It’s a miracle,” he said.
Singh has since returned to touring and music releases with projects such as Honey Singh 3.0, Glory and 51 Glorious Days, alongside his ongoing My Story World Tour.
At one point, Honey Singh was everywhere – dominating music charts, delivering back-to-back Bollywood hits, touring with superstars and living through the kind of fame most artists only dream of. But behind the blinding success of 2014 was a spiral that would soon pull him away from the spotlight entirely. Years later, the singer has now opened up about the night in 2019 when, amid his battle with bipolar disorder and addiction, he says he broke down and asked God for death.
Honey Singh on his battle with bipolar disorder
Speaking on the ABTalks podcast recently, Singh revealed that amid his battle with bipolar disorder, addiction and isolation, he had reached a point where he pleaded to God for death. The singer said he had been an atheist for years, but that moment eventually became the turning point that gave him “a purpose to live”.
During the peak of his career in 2014, Singh had released his album Desi Kalakaar, judged the reality show India's Raw Star, toured with Shah Rukh Khan and acted in the Punjabi film Tu Mera 22 Main Tera 22.
Looking back at that phase, Singh said, “I was Yo Yo Honey Singh, the biggest superstar of India at that time. But then I got symptoms of bipolar disorder.”
The singer revealed that nearly a decade ago, he completely isolated himself from the world. He said he locked himself in a room, stopped speaking to people and cut himself off from television, radio, the internet and the media. “I was not even speaking,” he said.
Singh also spoke candidly about his struggle with substance abuse, admitting that he had been addicted to drugs for two years without fully realising how deeply it had affected him. “I didn’t know it was taking me over. It was controlling me,” he said.
Describing bipolar disorder as something impossible to fully explain in words, Singh said the illness brought intense fear, suspicion and anxiety. He added that during the period, he dismissed spirituality despite his family encouraging him to turn towards faith.
Recalling that time, Singh said his mother would often play prayers at home in the hope that he would heal, but he resisted it. “I used to think I was the one who made Yo Yo Honey Singh. I was the one who did everything,” he said.
Honey Singh on asking God for death
The singer said the turning point came one night in 2019.
According to Singh, he apologised to God for not believing earlier and said, “Now, whoever you are, however you look, I’m going to start respecting you because I want something from you.” He revealed that what he wanted at that moment was death because he felt completely exhausted by his mental state.
“I was done with myself. That night, I asked for death,” Singh said, before adding, “I didn’t get death. I got the purpose to live.”
Singh shared that he only fully understood the significance of that night years later. He credited a change in medication and a new doctor for helping him recover gradually, calling the doctor “an angel” in his life. He also said revisiting both painful and positive memories during treatment helped him process what he had gone through.
“When I became a believer, my life changed,” Singh said, adding that everything he does now feels like a second chance.
The singer clarified that he still lives with bipolar disorder, but said he has found stability through treatment, reflection and faith. “I’m still a patient of bipolar disorder. But God has been kind. I’m travelling the world, doing shows again, and making music. It’s a miracle,” he said.
Singh has since returned to touring and music releases with projects such as Honey Singh 3.0, Glory and 51 Glorious Days, alongside his ongoing My Story World Tour.
