'Emperor Akbar ruled independent India along with Congress government from 1956 to 1605'

A Deadly BiteEves, especially the good-looking ones, have a hard time nowadays, what with men of prey prowling around to pay unwanted compliments to a pretty face. Usually, all that the helpless females can do is turn a deaf ear to the not so sweet nothings that wolves spout. But one beauty used a novel way to deal with the beast.Munni of Lucknow is a student in a girls' college. She is the daughter of a peon of the same college, and, for some time, had been harassed by the unpleasant attentions of another peon. Gritting her teeth, she stuck it out for as long as she could, but, finally, the worm had to turn.One day, Munni was on her way to school. When she got to the Christian College crossing in Golaganj, the peon turned up again, sitting in a restaurant. He welcomed her with some choice remarks, and then sang some ribald serenades. For Munni, this was the last straw. She turned, bared her teeth, and sprang. A few seconds after she had taken off, the peon discovered that Munni's teeth were clamped firmly and very painfully on his nose, and strong, healthy teeth they were too. The peon howled, Munni bit, and spectators gawked. Then the triumphant girl let go, and the peon staggered away with a swollen, bleeding nose and tears of rage and anger in his eyes. He had learnt his lesson: the female of the species is always deadlier than the male.Bottoms Up BabesThe train that takes the eager tourist to Goa is a metre-gauge caterpillar which snakes in and out of some very breathtaking scenery, and at one point, passes within hand-shaking distance of a roaring waterfall. However, the inside of the train is as breathtaking as its route, for the old-fashioned coaches are invariably jammed with squabbling passengers fighting for seats and air. To relieve their misery, vendors of gaudy foodstuffs and bottled drinks circulate nimbly along the corridors.Last month, a family of five - father, mother, and three very noisy children - were on their way to the land of golden beaches. As the train pulled out from Londa junction, the children, with commendable timing, started crying out for food and drink. The family had exhausted its stocks and the harassed father looked around for help. He spotted a vendor and soon the young man was supplying the family with yellow-coloured biscuits and chiwda. As for drink, he had some bottles of weak beer, which he sold to the unsuspecting family, telling them that it was apple juice.The thirsty children grabbed the bottles with relief. Half-an-hour later, the children began to show signs of inebriation. They burst into wild songs, laughed loudly and long, and raised a terrific ruckus in the crowded bogie. Other passengers had a fine time as well, urging the children on to wilder antics. At last, the train reached Madgaon, and the sheepish parents bundled their charges out to the platform. The children were still going strong with their act as the family got into a bus.Historical HowlersHistory, according to the American motor magnate Henry Ford, is bunk. While quite a few people would dispute that blunt claim, there is no doubt that some of the history being taught in Andhra Pradesh schools is indeed bunk. Last month, V. Rama Rao of the Bharatiya Janata Party stood up in the state Assembly brandishing the Indian History Part II book prescribed for Intermediate students and printed by the Telugu Academy. Rao was considerably agitated over the treatise, calling it a book of "historical blunders". He proceeded to read out with relish some of the howlers the text book was replete with.According to it Emperor Akbar ruled independent India along with the Congress government from 1956 to 1605, presumably moving backwards in time in the process. Again, the father of Maharashtra's beloved Chattrapati Shivaji is stated to be one Shabi Khan, a piece of information guaranteed to infuriate all good Hindu bigots. In another place, the book calmly asserts that the Sikh ruler Ranjit Singh ruled the country - the entire country, not just Punjab - from 1708 to 1849, a reign that lasted all of 141 years. When Rao had finished his oration, an embarrassed B. Venkatram Reddy, education minister, rose to assure the House that the person responsible for the hilarious rewrite would be severely dealt with. Also, a lenient view would be taken of the history answer papers written in the coming examinations on the basis of Indian History Part II.Reptilian DefenceOffensive weapons come in all shapes and sizes, but perhaps for the first time in India a snake was added to the armoury. In Lucknow, Desi Ram was a driver of the Uttar Pradesh State Road Transport Corporation, and, by all accounts, was something of a bully. Even officials used to steer clear of the belligerent 60-year-old, who had been arrested a number of times for sundry violations of the law.Tired of Desi Ram's antics, the corporation terminated his services last month. However, he turned up again in a workshop, ostensibly to worship in a temple on the permises. His pious intentions were rudely cut short when Babu Lal, the workshop foreman, ordered him to get out of the place. Hot words flew about and the two almost came to blows.Then the driver made his move. He drew a black cobra out of his shirt and flung it at his antagonist. Babu Lal tried desperately to get out of the way, but all his contortions were of no avail. The cobra fastened its fangs into his flesh, and the unfortunate foreman fell to the ground. Desi Ram didn't crow for long, though; he was soon overpowered and handed over to the police. Babu Lal, groaning in pain, was taken to the hospital. Desi Ram still had the cobra inside his shirt when he arrived at the police station. He was persuaded to give up his weapon, and when measured the serpent turned out to be five feet in length.Published By: AtMigration Published On: Feb 27, 2014 13:06 IST--- ENDS ---

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'Emperor Akbar ruled independent India along with Congress government from 1956 to 1605'

History, according to the American motor magnate Henry Ford, is bunk. While quite a few people would dispute that blunt claim, there is no doubt that some of the history being taught in Andhra Pradesh schools is indeed bunk.

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