Can people-pleasing at work be a sign of anxious attachment?

Anxious attachment, often associated with overthinking, constant validation-seeking and insecurity in personal relationships, is no longer confined to private life. Increasingly, it is surfacing in workplaces, quietly shaping professional behaviour and organisational dynamics.

Employees with anxious attachment tendencies often interpret feedback as rejection, seek frequent reassurance from managers and live with a persistent fear of being replaced. What may appear as dedication or perfectionism can, in reality, stem from deeper emotional insecurity.

STRUGGLE BEHIND SMILE

Psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty explains that anxious attachment is not a mental illness but a personality trait. "People with anxious attachment tend to hang on more in the workplace. They want to please everyone, often overcompensating by working longer hours and going the extra mile to prove loyalty,” he says.

Similarly, psychiatrist Dr Sneha Sharma notes that such individuals rely heavily on others for emotional security. “They may form attachments at the workplace and constantly try to please those individuals. This often leads to over-commitment, perfectionism and eventually burnout,” she adds.

This pattern can manifest in unhealthy ways. Employees may take on additional responsibilities beyond their role, struggle to set boundaries or avoid conflict altogether. In extreme cases, this creates what the Mumbai-based expert Dr Shetty describes as an “abusive relationship with the office,” where the organisation continues to extract more from those who find it difficult to say no.

According to Dr Sneha Sharma, constant reassurance-seeking may be perceived as dependency, while sensitivity to feedback can hinder professional growth. Over time, this may lead to strained relationships, frequent job changes or gaps in career progression.

WHAT DOES THE RESEARCH SAY?

Research supports these observations. As per the 2024 meta-analysis published in the Journal of Business and Psychology, that covered about 32,000 participants, it found that attachment styles influence workplace behaviour. It stated that anxious attachment was linked to higher job stress, burnout and turnover intentions, along with lower job satisfaction, performance and workplace relationships.

Further insights from a 2025 qualitative study conducted by the National Library Of Medicine highlight that workplace experiences are not merely structural but deeply psychological. Individuals with secure attachment tend to manage stress better, maintain stable relationships and report higher job satisfaction.

On the other hand, those with insecure attachment, particularly anxious types, experience heightened emotional reactivity, fear of rejection and difficulty coping with stress.

CAN THE WORKPLACE FIX THIS?

However, experts emphasise that organisations are not powerless in addressing this issue. Leadership plays a crucial role in creating a supportive environment. “Consistent and fair leadership can act as a secure base,” says Dr Sharma.

“When leaders maintain clear boundaries, provide structured feedback and avoid excessive validation, it helps reduce insecurity," she further explains.

Dr Shetty adds that workplace interventions such as skill-building, appreciation and mindfulness, what he calls the “SAM approach”, can improve emotional resilience. Encouraging employees to focus on growth rather than validation can shift them from anxious coping patterns towards healthier professional behaviour.

The experts concluded that anxious attachment at work highlights a larger truth. Employee well-being is deeply tied to emotional and relational experiences. By fostering trust, psychological safety and consistent leadership, organisations can not only improve productivity but also help individuals build healthier ways of relating to both their work and themselves.