Inter-racial children get caught between two worlds in US

Zia with Zarina"My skin's a misnomer, my features are a misnomer," says Erika Surat Anderson, a California-based film maker of Indian and American parentage. "My big jaw, my straight teeth, the way I look people in the eye, they all say American, white, middle class. But inside I feel very much an Indian, brown, working class."Faces that don't quite look Indian, skin that doesn't quite match the family name, eyes that belong to a different culture: being the child of a mixed marriage is rather like living in a room lined with fun-house mirrors, reflecting distorted images.As Indians living in the US reach the 10-lakh mark, more and more are naturally thrown into close encounters with Americans, resulting in increased inter-cultural relationships and marriages. An analysis of the US census figures by Little India Data Service, Pennsylvania, showed that 24.6 per cent of Indian men and 8.3 per cent of Indian women who got married in the US tied the knot outside their race.Even as parents learn to adjust to each other's culture and religion, the children of mixed marriages, too, have to reconcile themselves to a world of conflicts. The question of identity becomes a searing issue particularly after they reach their teens. "You're 17 or 18 years old, and you really want to find out what makes you different from other people, what's unique about yourself." says Erika, who directed None of the Above, a poignant portrayal of the inter-racial children.Gitanjali Saxena, a Toronto-based film maker of mixed German-Canadian and Indian parentage, grew up feeling the pulls of conflicting worlds. Her video, New Views, New Eyes, is about her first acquaintance with Indian culture which, though alien, is part of her psyche. "It was like I was wishing I was white but I knew I wasn't," says Gitanjali, recalling her feelings as a brown child growing up with a white mother in Edmonton.Erika with her mother and grandmotherPsychoanalysts and sociologists trace the roots of many of the problems faced by such children back to their parents and the way they have been brought up. "I think it's okay to have two different cultures and two different religions, provided it's explained to the child," says Loveleen Posmentier, a New York-based psychoanalyst and therapist who often treats patients from multi-cultural backgrounds.A grand-niece of Sri Aurobindo, the philosopher, she comes from Calcutta and is married to Eric, an American ocean-ographer. They have two children, Raoul, 22, and Sonia, 19. "I've told my children they are both Hindu and Jewish. They are not one or the other. That's what they tell their friends," says Posmentier.Alan Jackson, a Briton, and Zia, from Jammu and Kashmir, have been married for 30 years and have brought up their three children in New York. Their eldest daughter, 25-year-old Zarina, is an Indian classical dancer who also hosts Vision of Asia, a television programme targeted at viewers from the subcontinent. Asked about the difficulties people face while bringing up children with two cultures, Zia, an English teacher, says: "If I was aiming at raising children who are Indian, then I think I would have a tremendous struggle because then you are constantly fighting with everything the children are influenced by." New generation inter-cultural parents are ensuring that their offspring grow up comfortably in both cultures. Kartik Kilachand of the Bombay-based Kilachand group and Judi, whose sons are seven and four, have named them Sean and Jay - Shan and Jai in India. Notes Kartik: "This was not by accident but by intent so that they could straddle both cultures."Is life easier for those who can pass off as Americans? "My only problem has been that I have never had a country that I can fully belong to," says Zarina who, because of her fair complexion, has not encountered racism or bias. On the other hand. Erika says she doesn't know whether life would have been easier for her had she looked more Indian. "My brother Piara was given an Indian name and he is darker than I am. He experienced more direct racism and had to change his name. So who's better off?"India, to most children of mixed heritage, is a sweet memory, like a grandma's tale. Erika recalls visiting some distant relatives in Punjab and discovering all her childhood photographs in their album. Gitanjali, too, recalls the affection of her relatives living in Lucknow. And Zarina was delighted and taken aback by the warmth of her Kashmiri relatives who had never met her before.With such experiences behind them, inter-racial children do become masters at juggling their varied identities, keeping a foot firmly in both worlds and making the most of it.Published By: AtMigration Published On: Nov 30, 1999 00:00 IST--- ENDS ---

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Inter-racial children get caught between two worlds in US

Inter-racial children are caught between two worlds.

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