It comes from ego: Abhishek Bachchan rejects gender roles in marriage with Aishwarya

Actor Abhishek Bachchan has said his "severe ego" stopped him from subscribing to traditional gender roles in his marriage to Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, actor and former Miss World.

Bachchan, 50, recently appeared on a podcast with actor and YouTuber Lilly Singh, where he shared insights about ego and partnership in his marriage of 18 years. Bachchan said his sense of self and masculinity is not dependent on making his wife feel less accomplished.

During the chat, when Singh referred to men who feel insecure in a marriage with a more successful partner, Bachchan said, "For me, it also comes from severe ego. I am not somebody who wants to win because somebody else lied down and let you walk over. I have been brought up to believe that you've got to earn your win."

Bachchan said he takes pride in the fact that he carved his own career, and that his father, megastar Amitabh Bachchan, never made a film for him. The actor, known for performances in films like Guru, Raavan, Dasvi, Dhoom, Yuva and Paa among others, elaborated on his "ego" comment.

He explained, "In essence, the reason I say 'ego', is because I have never been the kind of person who believes that somebody else will have to give up or stop running for me to win that race. That is my mental structure. I don't want to be in a partnership or in a marriage where my wife has to stop doing something because I need to feel more of a man about myself. And thankfully, my wife is also somebody who doesn't think like that either."

The actor emphasised that his relationship with wife Aishwarya Rai has always been based on partnership. "When my parents got married, my mother was a bigger star than my father was. So, it wasn't an unnatural thing," he said, referring to traditional gender roles and success within a marriage.

Partnership and mutual respect

Bachchan recalled that he had known Rai since early in his career. During their first film together, Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke (2000), they were just friends. "We weren't in a relationship together then. We were just buddies. We were always friends," he said.

He highlighted that Aishwarya and he have co-starred in multiple films through their courtship, engagement and marriage, adding that their relationship flowed naturally without rigid roles. "There was no discussion like, 'I will bring the food, and you take care of the house'," he explained.

Parenting approach

Junior Bachchan also opened up about raising their daughter, Aaradhya Bachchan. He said, "As parents, fathers are lousy teachers," adding that men often lack the sensitivity that women have. "Men are wired to display what they want. We are action-oriented," he explained.

He and Aishwarya Rai try to lead by example rather than instructing their daughter. "You set an example by doing. In my home, both of us try to be the best example for Aaradhya," he said.

AB Jr. also joked about self-defence, saying, "In that sense, it has never been like I have to teach her self-defence. If you have seen my wife, she can take care of herself."

He concluded by saying that when parents live by morals and values, children follow suit. "So, there is no competition at home about who has to be the man, who has to be the woman," he added.

Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai were married on April 20, 2007 in a grand ceremony at their Mumbai house. The duo will complete 19 years of their marriage later this month.