You'd be speaking French without us: King Charles roasts Trump with history jab

King Charles III delivered a light-hearted yet sharp-witted history lesson at the White House dinner on Tuesday, playfully roasting US President Donald Trump by suggesting that, without British intervention in North America, Americans might well be speaking French.

The exchange unfolded as the two leaders struck a warm tone on the “special relationship” between the UK and the US, despite underlying tensions over the war in Iran. The British monarch used the moment to refer to Trump’s earlier remarks on European allies and defence spending.

“You recently commented, Mr President, that if it were not for the United States, European countries would be speaking German. Dare I say that if it wasn't for us, you'd be speaking French," King Charles said, drawing loud laughter from the audience.

He was referring to the colonial-era rivalry between Britain and France in North America, long before US independence, when the two powers battled for territorial dominance across the continent.

The quip also nodded to Trump’s remarks at the World Economic Forum Annual Meeting in January, where he said that without American intervention in World War II, Europeans would be “speaking German and a little Japanese”.

Charles continued with a series of self-deprecating jokes, including a reference to British troops burning down parts of the White House during the Burning of Washington in 1814. “We British, of course, made our own attempt at real estate redevelopment of the White House,” he said, drawing laughter from guests.

He also quipped that the evening marked “a very considerable improvement on the Boston Tea Party,” referencing the historic protest against British taxation.

Trump, known for his admiration of the British royal family, responded with humour of his own, largely aimed at domestic politics. He congratulated the king on his earlier address to Congress, joking, “He got the Democrats to stand — I’ve never been able to do that.”

KING CHARLES CHARMS CONGRESS WITH JOKES

Before the dinner, King Charles delivered a stand-up-style address at a joint meeting of Congress, blending humour with reflections on the British-American relationship.

The King cited Oscar Wilde’s famous quip about the US and UK being two nations divided by a common language, highlighting the affectionate, yet distinct, differences between American and British English.

He continued, "This is a city which symbolises a period in our shared history, or what Charles Dickens might have called ‘A Tale of Two Georges'," pausing to a wave of laughter.

In another moment of laughter, the King asked the audience for volunteers to adopt the role of the MP who is traditionally held “hostage” at Buckingham Palace during the State Opening of Parliament.

“These days, we look after our 'guest' rather well – to the point that they often do not want to leave," his jokes continued.

The King then joked that his presence in the US "is not here as some cunning rearguard action." He said: “King George never set foot in America and, please rest assured, I am not here as part of some cunning rearguard action.

He later added: “The Founding Fathers were bold and imaginative rebels with a cause.” Adding to laughter in the room: “250 years ago, or, as we say in the United Kingdom ‘just the other day’, they declared Independence.”

The British King marked the 250th anniversary of American independence from Britain with gratitude that the two countries united to build “one of the most consequential alliances in human history” while urging “that we ignore the clarion calls to become ever more inward-looking."

Addressing the joint session of the US Congress, Charles repeatedly highlighted the historical and cultural ties that he said have cemented an enduring bond between the United States and the United Kingdom.